Time, Space, & Memory: Easy Tips to Help Your Middle School with Organization – Part 3

For the past few weeks, we've been exploring a few simple, practical things you can do in order to help your organizationally challenged middle schoolers come to grips with the increased executive function demands they encounter in their schoolwork. In the first installment of this series, we discussed time and time management, focusing on strategies aimed at maximizing the effectiveness of calendars to help students tackle long term projects. Last week, we focused on space or ways in which you can help your middle schooler keep better track of their papers and materials. This week, we're going to talk about memory. Is there anything you can do to help your middle schooler remember assignments, materials, and commitments? 

Memory

Personally, this is the area that presents the greatest challenge for me. My to-do list occupies a place of importance in my life comparable to Linus' security blanket. I get a little panicky without it.  I’ve told more than one person that what I really need to keep me on track is a to-do list impaled on a railroad spike that’s drilled into my forehead. I admit, the shortcomings of this strategy (pain, the mess, the questioning looks from people around me...) are substantial and I have found some less obtrusive strategies that work comparably well. 

Some of the best types of visual aids stem from the decidedly low-tech strategy of writing out lists and reminders. They need to be written clearly enough so that students, in effect, understand what it is they need to remember. It doesn't do much good to write reminders so cryptic that not even their author can understand them. Equally important, those lists have to be posted in places where they’re going to do some good. This might require a little investigating along with some trial and error. Take any long term assignment that your student has. Suppose they have diligently tackled the assignment and, due to the fabulous accordion file organizing system they’ve created, they have no trouble at all locating it and handing it in….if only they had remembered to bring it to school. Once you and your child create a highly visible reminder, it needs to placed somewhere very prominent in the house in order to make it completely unavoidable. If the problem runs in the opposite direction – say, the student often comes home from school forgetting what certain assignments are or missing the necessary materials, those reminders need to be placed somewhere equally unavoidable at school. A post-it note placed in a prominent spot in a locker might do the trick. But what if your student is one of those kids who forgets to write down homework assignments? One idea is to have them place a post-it note on their planner or agenda reminding them to make a note of what the assignment is, when it's due, and any other important information that might help them as they begin to tackle that assignment. Some of the kids I've worked with in my executive function coaching sessions have downplayed the importance of writing down what their assignment is, using the rationale that their teachers post all assignments on Google Class, their classroom website, or other online vehicle. In fact, some teachers are very scrupulous about posting detailed, up to date information about assignments. Unfortunately, others are less consistent in their follow through. For this reason, it's still important for students to write down their assignments, regardless of how consistent or inconsistent the teacher in question happens to be. At a minimum, writing things down provides a solid back up system for those times the digital world doesn't come through. On a big picture level, writing things down is a good habit to develop no matter who you are. 

Does Your Child Need Extra Help with Organization or Time Management? Check out Academy MetroWest's Executive Fu​nction Coaching Services.

Digital Solutions

If you’re looking for support that relies on hi tech solutions, some reminder apps for smart phones are fantastic. Personally, I use the Reminders app on my iPhone all the time. What I find invaluable about it is that reminders can be triggered using either time or location as determining factors. For instance, if I’m at my office and I remember something that I’m going to need to do at my home later that night, I can set a reminder to be triggered when I arrive at my home address. The app uses GPS to determine your location so it notifies you when you arrive at the designated spot. On the other hand, if I get to work in the morning and remember something that I need to discuss with a colleague later in the day, I can set the reminder to be triggered at a certain time as well.

In addition to the iOS reminder app, there are many others that, more or less, do the same thing. The basic reminder app does the job for me and, in general, when it comes to digital approaches to organization, my bias is the simpler the app, the better. However, if you'd like to explore the other options out there take a look at this summary of reminder apps available for iOS or Android.

When you work with your child to help provide scaffolding for challenges with time, space, and/or memory, it’s crucial to listen, observe, and be patient. Phillipa Lally, a health psychology professor at University College London, studied the process of habit formation and found that the amount of time it took people to form a habit varied widely but, on the average, took 66 days. This means that just because your child has created his or her very own calendar system, there is no guarantee that they’re actually going to use it with anything like consistency. That takes practice, patience, and feedback. Along the way, listen to what your child tells you about how the new system is or isn’t working. Use that information to tweak the systems or to make wholesale changes. While that process can be a patience tester, the outcomes are often worth it. The idea is that once something becomes a habit, then the student no longer needs to rely on their executive functions to get it done. They just automatically do it. 

It’s also vital to remember that for kids with executive function delays, organizational challenges usually have less to do with deficits in motivation or character than they do with skill development. As much as it might seem like your child is suffering these lapses just to torture you, you can be sure that they’re really agonizing over them at least as much as you are. Try to collaborate and form an alliance with your child. Frame this as a challenge that you’re going to try to tackle together or a mystery that you can solve as a team. You can let them know that there are very few people in the world who really enjoy the process of getting organized - although I have recently learned that there are a few. It may be worthwhile to provide small incentives based upon your child's willingness to engage in the process. Once your child gets started, you are likely to find that they become more capable and independent as they negotiate the challenges of time, space, and memory.